Singing Appreciation: Dayyenu as a Gratitude Practice

We all know that we can’t fully trust our recall of the past. For most of us, our autobiographical memory is biased, bending toward the positive. When we reminisce about vacation, for example, we remember the gorgeous settings, delicious meals, and meaningful moments with family and friends. Thankfully, lost luggage, missed connections, and heated arguments recede further into the background with each
retelling. We don’t deny the frustrations and mishaps, but we choose—consciously or not—to
foreground the good times. When we do this, we are reinforcing our joyful selves, nourishing ties
with others, and supporting our well-being.

I think about this each year when I chant the Dayyenu song at the Passover Seder. The Dayyenu recap of events is filled with holes and is by no means a historical recounting. Rather, it is a biased one, which keeps us focused on the miracles in our people’s history. As we reach the end of each line, we chant the familiar Dayyenu, focusing on wondrous events and eschewing the fear, distress, and anger that the Israelites felt in their time.

This tunnel-vision view of Jewish history can feel somewhat inauthentic. Even as we sing, we think to ourselves: “But each miracle would not in fact have been sufficient!” If God had parted the sea but not brought the Israelites to dry land, they would undoubtedly have drowned. If God had brought the Israelites to Mt. Sinai but not given us the Torah, the Jewish people would not exist. And how can the author of this song express the Israelite’s appreciation for the manna? Didn’t the Israelites complain bitterly about it, going so far as to beg for a return to Egypt where they would again have access to a
wider range of food? Even during the very same seder, we recount the suffering of the enslaved Israelites and remove drops of wine during the recitation of the 10 plagues to remember that Egyptians died in
the process of liberating the Israelites. The story—of deliverance from Egypt or of Jewish history writ large—was not an untainted joyous, miracle-filled journey.

And yet we chant Dayyenu with gusto. This enduringly popular, jaunty song comprises a central part of the Pesah seder. Why do we do so? I’d argue that it is precisely because it is not meant to be a history quiz. Rather the rose-colored Dayyenu is an easy-tor-remember-and-recite gratitude practice, and as current research has shown, gratitude can improve overall well-being and deepen social connections and personal bonds. The cheery, repetitive tune implores us to enumerate, celebrate, and highlight these
moments—and to express gratitude for them even in the face of the obvious challenges. And then we say Hallel, praising God and again expressing gratitude for God’s grace.

The text of Dayyenu first appears in the siddur of the 9th century Babylonian leader Rav Amram Gaon but its origins may date back much earlier. Some scholars have argued that Dayyenu was written to counter early Christian assertions that Jews were an ungrateful people. Rabbi Louis Finkelstein, one of my predecessors as JTS chancellor, claimed that the text of Dayyenu must have been written even earlier, before the destruction of the Second Temple. Dayyenu concludes with the building of that Temple and as Finkelstein wrote, “It is certain that only a person living at the time of the sanctuary would think of its establishment as the climax of Jewish history.”

No matter when it was composed, Dayyenu, with its focus on personal and communal gratitude, has remained a staple of our Seder night for many centuries perhaps because of the positive effects that this gratitude practice has had on us. Not only does regular engagement with gratitude improve well-being but psychologists have found that this intentional focus on gratitude increases our desire to engage with others in compassionate and helpful ways. Much of the Haggadah helps us recall our experiences of suffering, ostracism, and slavery; Dayyenu reminds us of the ways we’ve been taken care of by God. Having recalled the challenges, we harness our gratitude for the positives to pay it forward to
others with kindness and support.

The sentiments expressed by the song then, however pollyannish they may sound, can inspire us to manifest a world where more of us can truly say Dayyenu for the blessings in our lives. It can encourage us to care for those around us, working toward a future where more of us are able to express gratitude for the sentiments that that the song alludes to: sustenance and security; justice and peace; and strengthened connections to the Jewish people, the Land of Israel, and all that is holy. May we all be so inspired this year.

I wish you a hag sameah, a joyous and meaningful holiday of connection and gratitude—this year at our seder tables, and and next year at everyone’s.